natural, some days .. it's hot, much too hot to be able to think clearly .. especially in my house after a certain time the temperature begins to rise, a real peak, compared to the rest of the day.
is the time when I sit before the laptop. mostly in the company of each 'one of the few friends I have remained close. because it is the usual speech .. SODDING friends to, too many, since they are almost useless .. but few friends. those on which I rely most have turned from day to day, like snakes in the breast. but the thing I was shocked to a certain point, because I knew it would happen, was in the air .. and I felt the distinct smell, scent of discontent, bitterness hatched in time, a wall, which ends to stand in the way, brick by brick. the only thing that hurts me, when I think, is that have not been able even to admit the reason behind such a sudden departure, we are between individuals, sentient beings and we know from a life .. Why invent crap, so we will not see more .. because the last words must be false? the last moment of enlightenment, of farewell, at least deserves respect for the truth .. at least that.
but I do not regret the loss. I do not regret because I have a conscience. are not in debt and that is what counts for me. the rest goes ..
and then there she stands by me. she is much more important! I am indebted to her. I have not a little complicated life, I dragged down with me and although I have not done voluntarily, it remains that it happened. Unfortunately you can not erase. with her is completely different, a parallel story and visceral. If there is still the love I do not know, but I know that is not the glue of our relationship .. our streets will continue in one direction. continue being together or each one for himself .. no matter, it is irrelevant. Love is two steps lower. I'll never know how she really sees me, what do you think of me when retraces our life together .. I can only immaginarloe I guess what I do not like at all. now, if I sit down and draw the sum of what has been achieved, can only take the discomfort. I wish I could look in the mirror without shame, but some days I can not! I feel that things will change soon. I feel that these days will pass, like the rest of the universe .. but this does not change .. when you're in, you do not like what you see. is like a virus, injected into you during a moment of distraction .. too difficult to eradicate, there is no effective therapy, there is no cure .. no one helps you. incidentally, no one could still help. you must find the strength to fight alone .. and throw out these thoughts stagnant before they infect the body and mind, the first it is too late ..
tomorrow laugh all the paranoia and bad thoughts .. but today it is still possible. charlie patience, you just have to be patient ..
